her smile, her joy

I came home from a day of running around with G and found EG having her own quite time in the sun with snack. She seemed to be deep in thought.

But she wasn't thinking at all. She said she was watching the birdies.

& she began to giggle
& I couldnt' get enough of her smile
thinking about how happy she is and how secure she feels makes me smile too

I had to grab a photo of her in footed jammies

because having 3 other kids,

I know it won't be long when they are thing of the past

& she won't want to wear them because she'll think they are for babies

even though she'll always be my baby...

drive by post of everything

Because I've got mad photography skills, all these photos are off my iPhone....cause I suck like that. I'm at work, bored, because it's Columbus day and because the government is on shut down, I have nothing to do...which leaves me to wonder why I'm here...but I digress.

So in a great attempt at keeping this sluggish blog rolling along, I'll give you 6 months of photos in one post, super speed style. I should be awarded a medal for my effort, after all, I could be on Pinterest.

I darkened my hair, not sure what to do with it anymore. J and I were going to a Falc0ns game. On a side note: my hips are not really that big...that's my lil' Louis sling under my sweater. A pic that I snapped of Daddy and EG going to church this past weekend. We were waiting for the boys to stop fighting as to where they were going to sit in the car. Seriously?
Snapped this pic this morning of EG of her sassy boots and her sassy hand me down clothes from sweet girl Colleen. Seriously don't know where she finds this adorable stuff.

This is normally the pictures I get of EG. She always turns her head when I whip out the camera or the phone. I just have to keep snapping cause she will look back and laugh, like she pulled one over on me. I'd really like these boots in my size! So sassy.

One day, not to long ago, my girlfriend and I blew off all responsibility and spent the day doing fun things. Like shopping.

and drinking a few bottles of champagne before 5.

& enjoying a nice girly lunch out on a gorgeous fall Georgia day.

Awe...it was so fun, call it a mental health day.

Not sure I mentioned on this blog, but my son is driving now. Scream.

We've had a few close calls, but overall, he's a pretty good driver. I'm just a nervous passenger.

We've been keeping very busy with Buckeye football, which isn't as fun anymore without my Buckeye peeps in paradise....sigh...

They got this EG this outfit before she even came home and it just now fits her...sucks they can't see her in it this year.

W is playing baseball now. We are totally impressed with skill level of these youngsters compared to the level they played at in Florida. All I can say is baseball is serious business in this neck of the woods. W started out spending more time dancing and shaking his thing on the field. He went many games with not even a hit and then finally, daddy offered up a bribe as he was going to bat. He scored his first hit and the winning run of a tied up baseball game, which led to him receiving the game ball. His whole team was so excited for him. Since then, he's improved tremendously and if all else fails, we just bribe him with food. Fine parenting skills.

C has had several orchestra concerts this year and his fabulous grandparents came for one of them. He's quite musically talented. He is my creative kid!

EG helped me decorate for fall.

& she was so proud of herself.

However, I'm not getting the added bunny in the middle of her 'pumpkin patch'...

& that's just water she dumped down the front of her, not a stain.

W's speedo is neato! C&W did swim team and they both rocked it. I guess I shouldn't be shocked since they both grew up in the pool. C was very impressive.

EG is a book hoarder. She falls asleep every night after she's read about 234 books. She's in that bed, asleep, with all her books.

How about that! Do you feel all caught up?!?! I'll be back in 6 months, or maybe sooner....we shall see =0)

9/11

Wow, and here we are...a decade later. The images so fresh and the emotions so raw. I've literally sobbed every single day this week. I just can't believe it's been a full 10 years since the wake up call came to America in the form of such tragedy. We have another whole generation now, growing up with no idea of what happened 10 years ago. It saddens me deeply. As I sat stunned and glued to the tv 10 years ago, I promised that my 2 little boys would always know what happened and why and now we have 2 more children that we bare the honor and responsibility of teaching the tragic day of September 11, 2001.

10 years later, I'm sorta pissed. Did we as a nation understand what happened? Did we brush it under the rug, like the '93 WTC bombing? Does everyone in the world not get how great Lou was? Was her life lost in vein? God I hope not. 9/11 changed me, from the inside out, my views of the world, my desire to know all about those countries in the middle east that never entered into my mind before and my political views. I also grew a deep desire to know as much history as I can so that history will never repeat itself.

On this 10 year anniversary, I wonder who she might have been. Would she still be working or would she have fallen in love and become a Mommy. She touched so many lives...she was a friend to many and so many miss her. She was life magnified and she lit up a room when she entered. She was everything in life that I knew I'd never be.

In loving memory and in honor of my high school best friend, I decided to share this personal video in hopes that you can see what the world lost through Lou's smile. She was destined for greatness and it is still so hard to accept the reality of her life 10 years later. These are my memories from days that now seem so long ago.
As each anniversary of that tragic day rolls around, I relive the minutes, as I am sure that each of you do. I replay the phone call in my mind from my mother where she only had to speak 5 words, "Tracy....Mary Lou is missing" when my knees hit the ground and the gravity of what had happened sunk in.
I will never forget or will I allow my children, grandchildren and future generations to forget what happened to change America on that day. Each face lost that day is someones loved one. I mourn for their loss and I pray for a safer future.
So in light humor I share the good, the bad, the ugly. The bad hair days, the bangs, the scrunchies, the eyebrows and even the bad prom dresses. But what the camera doesn't capture are the laughs & giggles, the stories behind the photos, the times that there was no camera to capture the moment, the late nights spent talking and being silly high school girls, the innocence of time and the sisterhood of friendship. Please remember Mary Lou.

St. Ge0rge Island

Over the long weekend we escaped to my friends beach house for some family time. We need to recharge ourselves, or at least I did. The weather was iffy, due to the Tr0pical St0rm Lee making landfall in the gulf. The gulf was super rough and even though the boys had fun, EG stayed close to Mommy in the sand and played. Girlfriend didn't miss a beat, it's like she's always lived at the beach. She loves the sand and all the way home she kept saying, "I wanna stay at the beach house with Mommy." That's my girl!

Taking pictures was extremely difficult due to the high winds. I didn't take my camera to the beach for 'normal' play because I figured it would be ruined by the blowing sand. Below are just a few images, none are great, but it is what it is. G's hair was out of control. He now wants it all shaved off.

upside down and inside out

These photos are completely unedited....mainly because I have no time. They are right out of the camera. I have become my own worse nightmare. In fact, if I'm being honest, I'm exactly who I never wanted to be. I'm to busy to think and yet have no energy to really get the things done that bring me peace of mind. It's like a bad version of groundhog day everyday...I just wake up and keep peddling the bike to get through the day. Sometimes, we all arrive safely into home, other days, it seems like a collision of the planets to get it all done.

I'm not bitching. I feel fortunate for my 4 extremely healthy children and husband, but I'm tired. I'm frustrated with some situations and in all fairness...I decided I don't like working, but I'm committed till something changes. My position comes with complications of being unable to voice things I don't like because I am really good friends with the owners and I keep business and personal stuff all separated into their pretty little compartments as to not skew the line. So I soldier on...like I love it.

I assume all families struggle with trying to reconnect and find 'family' time with all that stuff that fills our days. Before school started we took a hike up to the top of Kennesaw Mountain and picnic'd with the kids. It was hot and sweaty but fun. We enjoyed the quiet hike, which is where these photos were taken.

In a great attempt to find some peace and some time to reconnect, we are heading to the beach for some much needed family time. Just us 6. We won't be going back to paradise, but instead will be staying in our friends beach house on St. Ge0rge Island so we can roll in the sand together. I can't wait. It's only Tuesday and I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread to get to the weekend. I miss my old life. The one where the sandbox was at my fingertips. There is something that I can not explain that the ocean does for me. It's where I see things the most clear in my life. It's where all my children's memories began and where we we decided to begin this new GA life together. Don't mix my words, we really like it here and are extremely happy here, but truth be told...you can't take the gulf out of this girl.

First Day of School 2011-2012

W~now entering 2nd grade My sweet W had a really rough year last year. He has been my child that has struggled with this new GA life. His teacher didn't help that feeling last year. And then I went back to work this year and he's had a difficult summer with me working and we were nervous about this year and what teacher he might get.

After the teacher list was posted, we went directly to the school after work to find out who he had this year. Not that we had any perference,because we don't know any of the teachers, but because we wanted time to ask around. We have found out that the principle took mercy on us last year and gave us the best of the best this year. The only complaint I have found is your child will be highly disappointed year after year because nobody will live up to Mrs. D. I'm so excited. I've read her classroom agenda and all I can say is "wow". After the first day of school I asked W how his day went and he responded with..."It was AMAZING, my teacher is so awesome and we had so much fun!" I am so delighted. My sweet lil' W needed a kickstart to his Ga life.

EG~now entering Pk3

Girlfriend took a few months off school and was super excited to go back! Her school bumped her up with her class to Pk3. She had no reservations, but instead, she insisted on wearing a tutu instead of the jean shorts I had laid out for her and marched into her class like she owned it. She LOVES her school...which makes this working Mom gig a happy experience. Gawww I adore her.

G~now entering 10th grade

I lose my mind thinking of him growing up and leaving....bad socks and all. I can't explain my connection with this son of mine, but I cry thinking of it. I'm so proud of him and there's another little girl in this house that thinks he hung the moon and had I not given birth to him...I might have actually believed that he did indeed...hang the moon.

C~now entering 7th grade

My fabulous swimming, touch down running/throwing son. His body is as active as his brain. I pray that this is his year. The stage is set for him to give the best performance of his life. I've learned more from this child than any other. He's taught me that being different is normal. That being considered odd is non existent, that the world is not black & white and there is no box big enough to put him in...he is my C, perfectly imperfect. He makes my world spin and reminds me I'm not as smart as I think I am.

I have lots of hopes on this second day of school. Many goals I want for them to accomplish, but totally aware that my desires are meaningless in their eyes. They are each so strong willed and will decide for themselves what this year will hold. I can only be their Mom...there to support them and yell at them to do their homework...it's gonna be a great year!