Sept. 11, 2012 (11 years later)

I struggled with this post this year.  So much has changed in so many ways.  I know I don't blog here much anymore, but I felt it necessary to do so today in honor of all that was lost that day.  These parts of our history have meaning and must be remembered.  I am toiling with returning to blog world, in a different kind of way.  So with all due respect to those we lost on 9/11, 11 years later....I remember just one of the many, the one I loved and knew.

This will be the 7th year that I have posted this exact same post...which is 7 years since I entered blog world.  I know many of you have already read it and seen the video, but I can find no other words on this day. Every year I watch the video again and remember the moments, just like it was yesterday. I also wonder where Mary Lou would be in her life now. Would she be married? Would she have children? There are no answers for those questions, but she will forever remembered.

 

In loving memory and in honor of my high school best friend, I decided to share this personal video in hopes that you can see what the world lost through Lou's smile. She was destined for greatness and it is still so hard to accept the reality of her life 11 years later. These are my memories from days that now seem so long ago. As each anniversary of that tragic day rolls around, I relive the minutes, as I am sure that each of you do. I replay the phone call in my mind from my mother where she only had to speak 5 words, "Tracy....Mary Lou is missing" when my knees hit the ground and the gravity of what had happened sunk in. I will never forget or will I allow my children, grandchildren and future generations to forget what happened to change America on that day. Each face lost that day is someone's loved one. I mourn for their loss and I pray for a safer future. So in light humor I share the good, the bad, the ugly. The bad hair days, the bangs, the scrunchies, the eyebrows and even the bad prom dresses. But what the camera doesn't capture are the laughs & giggles, the stories behind the photos, the times that there was no camera to capture the moment, the late nights spent talking and being silly high school girls, the innocence of time and the sisterhood of friendship.
Please remember Mary Lou.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

And now she's 4!

In March, my pretty little girl turned 4. As super excited as she was, I was a tad sad to see her aging so quickly. Could be because I missed those first 15 months and feel like I just need more time with my baby or it could be because being a Mom of 4, she is my baby and no Mama wants her baby to grow up....sigh...

But nonetheless, the calendar keeps churning away as days turn into nights and nights into weeks...so we celebrated with a pretty pink cake, per her request. 

She is 4 and yet so full of life.  She is happy all the time, unless she's 'trying' to pout, which usually ends in smiles.  She's my shadow, my snuggle bug, my complete joy.  I can not imagine my life without her and like every important date that rolls around, I think of her birthparents.  I wonder if they even thought of her and like always, I pray they can somehow feel how this one little girl is so deeply loved and adored.

Welcome to year 4 of your life baby girl.

So it's been awhile....

So it's been while....like a really long time. The thought of updating this weee lil' blog has occurred to me like twice, but I usually find something to do that requires less brain cells instead.  So much has changed and I am in a much better place than I was a year ago, mentally speaking of course.  I was laid off from my job, which I'm quite happy about.  I was miserable there, m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e. and didn't really allow myself to think of other options because my little girl was thriving in her $1000 a month school and I didn't want to change her schedule.  Nonetheless, the company business plummeted and I was stuck beneath a pathetic office manager with no real penis in his pants but had the ego of a real winner.  The job was sucking the life out of me, so I began my search to relieve myself from that misery.  I found my way into a new company, where flexibility is the norm.  I work from home, part time-full time, whatever I want and my salary is much better.  We shall see how it goes, I am new to the field and my brain is spinning with so much to learn, but it's a great opportunity.   I've also been able to switch EG's school to a part time school next year and save $700/month....much better...

So I'll just update the crew:

My husband is spinning the wheels at work as well as he takes over another division.  So much good stuff happening, but also a lot of work. 

G is finishing up his 10th grade year where he is doing great.  He is still an avid golfer and still thinks that EG hung the moon.  She is his first hug when he comes home. 

C has become quite the violinist this year.  He's always been musical and artsy, but his skills have improved greatly.  He is finishing up his 7th grade year.  He's extremely social, he's very out of the box (still) and he's still true to who he's always been. 

W is closing up his 2nd grade year with the best teacher on the planet.  He talks a lot.  A.L.O.T.  In fact, if he's not talking, we check for a pulse.  He has a whole lotta stuff to say.  He is still fascinated with food and has developed a love for gardening.  We planted a small garden, but our neighbor has a large one that he encourages W to come over and take care of. 

lil EG is sassy and sweet, more sweet than anything.  She LOVES school and the fact that I see no anxiety in her is nothing short of a miracle.  She has been sleeping through the night for 2 years, in her bed and only occasionally does she wake up to go potty, but she always runs back to bed.  She is easy going, happy and so freaking smart.  She hears everything we say and will repeat it.  We can always get an accurate truth out of her if the boys are in a fight or trying to hide something.  She doesn't tattle (yet) but she will offer up the truth if we ask her.  She loves shoes, hair, clothes and nail polish.

Below are pictures of the ATL skyline from the top of Stone Mountain when I took the kids for a hike!

And here we are...2012!

I'm a blogging loser. Not going to lie, it's really so far down on my list of things to do that I just no longer do it. Not because I don't enjoy the people, but most of you are on my facebook, which means I still get to catch up with you!

Since it's a new year, like most people, I have a few goals I have set for myself this year. I really want to slow down in life and enjoy the small, quiet things and by that I mean, a hike in the woods with my family versus a theme park...that kind of slow down.

Naturally, I'd like to shed the extra weight I put on by sitting behind a desk 8 hours a day versus movin' and shakin' my way around the city. I only really have time to run a few times a week and even struggle to fit that in. So now that I've been back in the work force for almost year now, it's time for me to figure it out.

I also have a great desire to learn to grow a garden and learn to can this year.

I have spoken about my desire to prepare my family in the event of an economic collapse or other economic obstacle, which I now believe to be coming down the pipe quickly and I need to organize my supplies. I have a bunch of items for emergency kits/bags and what not and now need to step up my game. I'd like to have all my Tier 1 items taken care during the first part of the year and I will then move on to the Tier 2 items.

Also, I have gone a stray from reading my bible on a regular basis and feel a real desire to know exactly where God wants me to stand at this moment in time. After sampling some Georgia churches last year, we have found one that we love. In fact, I don't recall ever loving going to church this much and I'm really excited to see what God is going to do with my family this year.

Another item on my 'to accomplish' list is to make peace with my employment. It's been an emotional strain on me to continue to work and get it all done. I've had great difficulty with the office manager in the little environment that I work in that has caused me some serious gray hairs and lots of stress. The stress has been no good for anybody and I am making a decision to no longer allow my work atmosphere to effect me. I just recently had a full week off to reflect this and have re-entered the office with my happy new attitude...who knows, maybe it will change the attitude of the person that I struggle with because in the end, I am thankful to have this job.

I love the fall beauty of Georgia!
a few kid update:
G: He's been driving for 6 months now, he's gotten substantially taller and has gained much more weight, basically, he's growing into a man. He steals J's shirts, shorts and shoes. I can't believe how big he is. He spends most weekends golfing at the country club with all his golf friends that he met on the golf team last year. I'm told he has a really good game, usually only 1 or 2 over par. Golf try-outs are coming up the end of Jan.

C: Had a busy fall with football and is now in the down cycle of his sports. He is active as always and spends a lot of time playing. C will play anything with anyone. He loves shooting his BB Gun and feels a need to learn about survival skills. He's going to have to learn them on his own because my husband is not much of 'rough 'n it' kinda of guy. C is resourceful and sees the world very different than most people.

W: Giggly and happy and has recently discovered his love affair with legos. They are all over my house. He loves to cook and most especially bake. He is a Grams boy and really misses his Fla Grams. He still sleeps every night with his blue bear (many of you will remember him) and he always wakes up early.

& my little sweetie...awe...she's so sweet that I just can't stand it. I am totally amazed with her. She is so stinking smart, she knows her ABC's, can count forever, knows all her basic sight words in books and loves school. She goes happily every morning and her teachers adore her and then when I pick her up, she always comes running with a smile. She is a snuggle bug and gives kisses constantly followed by "I Love You's"....we've been out of diapers at night now for about a year and she LOVES to have her nails painted. She thinks G hung the moon and W is her constant playmate. She can direct you in the car to her school, home or Ms. Natalie's and she loves hanging out with me and my girlfriends on girls nights. She is very savvy with the iPhone and iPad and will lay in bed and read a few hours every night. She is my hero and I'm amazed at how far she has come.

We are taking 2012 by the horns and declaring it game on. It's time for internal change and growing together on a much deeper level as a family. We have a family vacation planned in July, which is more of a working vacation and I look forward to seeing the impact it will have on each of us. For anyone still actually checking in on this little blog, may God bring the best to each of you this upcoming year.