In a house full of action with 3 busy boys, I will never be able to fully understand how one little girl can bring so much life to an already lively place. She is our family's everything.
This past week she was down & out within 45 minutes, with a spike in fever to 102.2. I knew it was another UTI, damn things. We called the doctor who we've yet to see and I took her right in to get an antibiotic.
It was a new doctor that we were establishing with and the forms were quite bothersome to fill out. I just put a big X across most of it, you know 'family history' 'week of pregnancy born' 'age of parents at birth' 'if anyone in the family has any of the list of 50 issues listed' 'was her birth mom a smoker?' 'a drinker?' It just saddened me to have so little info to help her through this life. After all, her date of birth is a guess, & that pains me so. I believe every human is entitled to the
their rightful date of birth. We claim 3-7 as hers.
their rightful date of birth. We claim 3-7 as hers.
**soapbox warning**
A while back I had an exchange with somebody that only celebrates their child's 'g0tcha day' because it's the only date that the Mom felt a connection to. It saddened me greatly that the child's birth had become about the Mom, how selfish. If your child has a guesstimated birth date, then claim it as their own. They are entitled to a date that's all theirs. Rather or not you as their parent fill 'connected' to their birth date because you may not have been there when they were born makes no difference, your child lived a life before you.
**stepping off my soapbox**
So speaking of a guesstimated birth date, I will tread these waters carefully. I know that there is really nothing that I am finding out about the process of China that my daughter will not be able to find out for herself, but I still wonder how to best present these facts to her. I can only imagine how it would feel to grow up with no facts on your past, to sit & fill out the endless amount of paperwork about family history that she will no doubt have to deal with one day.
21 comments:
I can relate to a lot of this post. Whenever we see any kind of doctor about Jazzie's hearing loss, they always ask about family history....
I love these pictures of your girl. What a difference from when she first came home, huh? Can't wait to meet her :-)
That smile is so sweet.......yes, look at how far she has come since you first held her in your arms. Simply amazing the strides these little ones make in such a short period of time.
Family history is tough..... in Sarah's case it is a closed adoption, although we do have very basic information, we do not have all of it......it does make me wonder each and every time I am handed that form.
Hope your girl is feeling better......Enjoy your holiday weekend~
Lisa
Her smile says it all. Her now is her life ! How blessed you all are! Your Kentucky Friend
she is a beauty! we claim and treat EK's birthday as a FACT. she deserves a day to celebrate her birth- if it is a day to early or a day to late- we'll never know- but July 8th is her day- from start to finish!!!! i'm not a huge gotcha day fan- we don't celebrate it other than to say- wow, she's been with us 3 years now.....but I won't lessen her life before she met us by making a huge deal out of the day she joined our family.....in her eyes that day, she just lost more. and it is a tricky proposition with bio kids too....I don't want them to ever think our life was void of meaning before she came home- that they were never enough. She has added so much to our lives, to our family and she is a treasure....and so are they. hope your girl is feeling better.
I love the pics.... those dimples are gorgeous. =)
Soooooo BEAUTIFUL..
love the photos..
Glad E is feeling better..
Hugs..
So beautiful!!! What a blessing she is : )
Annslee was found in mid January and her paperwork reads "the doctor decided her bday was Oct 21st" So sad that it may be nowhere close to her date of birth. We do celebrate Oct 21st with gusto..it is her day and she loves it!!
The lack of info is tricky too. With our adoption of Coby we have photos from 4 months on until we met him 7 months later. Annslee was looking at them and asked where all her baby pictures are? All we have are the 3 pics taken on the same day that were our referral photos.
No matter what we do or don't have we will have to help them through it all. A friend of mine who is adopted once told me "the thing I liked about the lack of info was that it made me try everything b/c I wasn't sure what I was suppose to be good at!"
I had to fill out those forms not too long ago for our pediatrician. That 'history' page sadden me more than I ever dreamed.
How sad for the little girl who won't celebrate her birthday. We were told the day that we received our referral that our baby's birthday is only a guess. I'll tell you the story one day. I hope that mother sees the mistake and will celebrate the little girl's birthday. I know April 14th is going to be celebrated HUGE around here. :-)
I hope EG is feeling 100%!! She looks so very happy in those pictures!
Meg, I think you summed up my thoughts better than I worded them myself, I just love the way you stated it!
well that is sad that the mom would only celebrate "Gotcha Day". We celebrate birthdays in this house!!! everyone has the right to a birth day...Addison's is a guessed birthday but Livi's is not.
So far with Addison I have answered the questions that she ask me honestly but of course in a very positive matter...I just take it one question at a time...even if I plan it out how I will talk to her or Livi about something...the questions they ask may be far off from the answers I was prepared to give...
Love these pictures...she is such a happy little girl...what a beautiful smile : )
Precious pictures of E!! I know exactly what you mean about her being your family's everything ~ our girl brings our family more joy than we could have ever imagined!
Blessings...
Have to agree that what Meg said was spot on. I understand that Gotcha Day is important because that's when our babies became part of our family. I just don't get the over the top celebrations some families do every year to commemorate it. My daughter's birthdate is more important whether it is accurate or not. She was given life!
Hope EG is feeling better and that you like your new pediatrician.
One of my best friends doesn't know much about the life before she was placed wither her parents, yet her life has been so blessed that she just thanks the lord every day that she was placed with those parents.
When you look at these photos you have posted, you see so much joy in her eyes and smile that you know she will one day just thank you for ever taking her into your life and making her yours.
She knows no different, and I am sure, of course, that one day she will ask questions about her life before gotcha day, but from day one, she was meant to be yours, so gotcha day was nothing more than the day it was official.
From birth she was yours, and the Lord had it that way from the start! <3
Those dimples just do me in. What a gorgeous smile on such an incredibly beautiful girl.
I have not gotten to meet Miss E yet, but I just love her! Love her little smiles and eyes!
We also will not be celebrating Tessa's Gotcha day either. We just had her first birthday party yesterday, her "Birthday" is July 8th, and that's what it will always be. People asked me how do we know if it really was the 8th. Well, we don't know for sure, but it doesn't really matter.
How sad for that little one to not get to celebrate the day she came into this world. How very sad.
Angela
She's so cute that little HaPpY hApPy Girl!
Have a good week ;o)
Great post and even more wonderful comments! I sure hope Miss E is feeling better by now. We too don't know Miss M's "actual" birth date. However, Nov 10th is her birthday to us. Her Gotcha Day is Sept 17th and while we were totally blessed to have her join our family on this day, we are more blessed that her mother chose life for her. do I wish I knew the actual date for her, yes... but Nov 10th will work just fine for now. Miss M has been FULL of questions and comments lately about "when she was a baby". I've been trying to take each question/statement as it comes and give answers she can understand, especially when she talks about being in my tummy. :0(
She is sooooo beautiful! Those dimples are so stinkin' cute! She is one lucky little girl! :)
cracking up that she is wearing a "silly band" ... lily went to camp this morning with one around her ankle. she loves them! thinking of you in GA .. we are loving life in the south!
She just makes me smile every time I see her smile!
It is so tough to know we can not fill in the blanks but what we do know is they are getting the right medicine & that is alot of LOVE & HUGS from their momma's & that is all they need!!
I am so glad to see how well you & the family are adapting to GA!
Take Care,
Terri
She is PURE SUNSHINE!!!
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