Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Last Call

It's as if only God knew how I felt, so He opened up the skies and let the rain fall all over me...
at the exact moment my 2 trailers were being picked up for the journey to Ge0rgia.
Everything I own left in a truck today and here I sit in my beautiful empty home.

I was actually hoping that it wouldn't feel so much like home once it was all dismantled, but it still does and that does not do much for this aching heart.
I wish I could be excited. I want to be excited, but the truth is there is no place like paradise, so why would I ever want to leave? My life is here. My soul is so deeply rooted to this place that it's making me wonder how bad will the ache feel when I wake up in hot Ge0rgia on a Saturday and there is no island time, no gulf breeze, no swimming pool/hot tub with a built in bar just waiting for a party to happen.
I know we'll be fine in the long run, it's just so hard to say goodbye to the life you planned on living your entire existence. I deeply appreciate all the comments of encouragement, the emails of love, the texts that say nothing because they know there really is nothing to say, but just wanted to be there. All day I've been smiling & thinking about Sandra's quote she left,
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
~Dr. Seuss
So so true.
The goodbyes are about to kill me.
Pr*ncess Ann came over last night with her perfect family and I had the biggie, we went into the ugly cry and then we both had the moment of, "crap, now we have to start the interview process all over again for the perfect fit of friends for our families." Our kids fit like gloves and I adore her family. She is my island queen, my go to girl for all things party, she's my let's have one to many beers and pink drinks girl, she is the Buckeye C0mmand Center, she is my c0rnhole buddy, and I will deeply miss all the fun her family brings to my world.
I've got a few more to get through before I officially pull out of parad*se, God help me.
I'm just hoping my heart will be ready to put the keys in the ignition and move forward to the new life that holds everything I own. The irony of everything is that on the exact same day one year ago, May 21, 2oo9, J&I boarded a plane bound for Ch*na to go get EG and on May 21, 2o10, we'll be climbing in our cars and heading to a new life in Ge0rgia...
what a difference a year makes...

19 comments:

Debra said...

My heart just aches for you. Leaving Paradise isn't forever, it's just what your doing right now. As you already know, circumstances can change at any moment. But for now, your husband has a great job that will sustain the whole family in the style you are accustomed, just in GA. I'm hoping GA will prove to be your new "southern comfort".
Many hugs and safe travels!

dawn said...

This post made me cry so I can't even try to imagine what it did to you.
And that isn't very helpful at all is it?

Sandra said...

I am sure this is not easy. Thinking about you...

Colleen said...

"sigh"............... well those pictures just sucked. I am at such a loss for words. I DO like what Debra said and that GA might be your new "Southern Comfort". Me likie.

Love you T, I am so sorry - all good to come, and its not forever, remember that.
xoxo

a Tonggu Momma said...

Moving just sucks. As someone who has done it about 20 times (I stopped counting after awhile), that is my expert opinion. Moving! Just! Sucks!
But... after awhile... the new place will feel like home. Someday it really will.

~Kristen said...

I'm so sorry T...

Right now playing on your player...
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right... I hope you have the time of your life"

No more true words spoken... My wish for you that is that this is the start of something amazing... I'm sorry it has to come at the expense of your current dream...

thinking of you during this very hard time...
XOXO

Anonymous said...

"big sigh" Your posts are a carbon copy of my emotions when we left Florida. It's hard seeing everything you worked so hard for leaving on a semi. But good things happen to good people. And your family and you will be just fine. Just like us because my 23 yr old son told me that "Mom, things happen for a reason." (As we were standing in our empty house for the last time.) And I hold onto those words every single day.
Positive thoughts-Jen

Dawn and Dale said...

It's been a few years now that I've been following along side your family as you journey through this tough yet amazing life! I have no doubt you guys will fit right in no matter where you are! Especially since I can tell your FAMILY is what is always most important! You are going to all be together and that's what counts!

Lot's of hugs and prayers though! They are definitely needed!!

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts!! You are an amazing writer!

Abby's Mom said...

((HUGS)) SNIFF ! ((HUGS)) SNIFF!!

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

big hugs, little hugs!! I am sad and I am not in an empty house headed for a new life. I hope in the end you are pleasantly surprised at how much you like GA. Hopefully you will be close to jeter's mama(that would help) Plus I am sure you will have just as many visitors in GA as you did in paradise. The paradise part was just icing for your friends visitng:)
Do you love the house you are moving too?? Better neighbors perhaps or at least a better BOD??
Good luck with the final leg of this journey, and be safe!!

Lindsay said...

Best wishes. Leaving is hard, but may there be joy in the arriving too.

Christie said...

I know this doesn't "help" - but I thought I'd sit on the sidewalk and "cry" with you, if that's ok.

Your posts are making me feel the pain of your big changes, right along with you. At points in all of our lives, we go through these life-changing alterations to our script. The one we had mapped out. The one we were sure was ours and ours alone. Then things happen that we didn't see or expect and it just throws everything up and around until we're left holding a completely different life-map.

In your case, one that holds Georgia as your home and no longer Florida.

And if it's alright and not presumptuous, I'd like to feel sad with you. I'm going to miss your posts from FL. Selfish, yes. But true.

They were good times. And we shared them right along with you through your pictures and writing.

Nostalgia for what we have lost is more bearable than nostalgia for what we have never had.... ~Mignon McLaughlin

Sending a hug...

Kim said...

Big Hugs..
You will make wherever you are HOME..
You are an AMAZING family.
Hugs..

Jennifer in Miami said...

You are an amazing woman, and have such a gift of storytelling that you have made ladies that have never met you cry for your heartache. Only a very special girl can do that. I hope that you find another type of paradise in Georgia and continue to share your amazing moments with us.

Daniella said...

hmpff... I have no words just want you to know I'm thinking of you.

Karen P, Ottawa Canada said...

I totally agree with Jennifer. I have sat here reading these posts with big ole crocodile tears falling and I don't even know you. You do write amazing posts and I hope that you continue to find it in your heart to post. Moving sucks! that is the bottom line, there is nothing nice about it. It gets better with time. You have many people thinking about you at this sad time. I hope it gets easier for you.

Anonymous said...

I've been a long time reader of your beautiful blog. I can't imagine how you are feeling. I only wish you happiness in your new venture. I really hope some day your wish comes true and you get to move back to paradise. Until then live it up in Georgia. I'll still be following your adventures :) As crazy as this sounds I'm gonna miss all your stories about paradise. The best.
Maureen...from NY

Briana's Mom said...

It sounds like you are heading out tomorrow. Hope you have a safe trip. Georgia is very different from Florida, but maybe it will become a new kind of paradise for you. :) Hang in there and hope to see you soon.

Debbie said...

Wow, 1 year ago on your way to China to get that precious baby girl of yours and now a year later, you are all packed up and headed to GA. Life will be okay!!! It may not seem like it right now, but in time, you will settle in and life around you will begin to fit like that well worn glove that you left in FL. SMILES!!!! It's gonna be okay!!!!

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