Monday, May 10, 2010

Well this is just gonna suck...

So I ask that you please bare with me and my Debbie Downer thoughts that seem to be controlling my state of mind. I want to feel like me. Like happy happy me, but it's a struggle.
In case you're just tuning in and don't know it yet, but I live on AH LA CUL DE SAC HEAVEN.
The best neighbors you will ever find. Today alone, I cried 6 times...& each time it was because of multiple neighbors. However, the clan across the street has become so intertwined with my being that I am no longer sure how to live without them. M is the better me...the MUCH better me. I am dark, she is light. I am snarky, she is kind.
What surprises many is we don't share mutual friends, faith, family, culture or activities...but we jive. Like the sun and the moon. She has 3 boys the same age as my 3 boys and we share international adoption of 2 amazing daughters and we have both been married for 16 plus glorious years to 2 fabulous guys. I don't only connect with her, I love her and her family.
I'm at home with her beside me and I just need to figure out how to bring her with me!
EG however, is not feeling the 'home' love. She wakes up at night to do roll call and find out where her family members are...are they asleep? are they in Fl0rida? are they in Ge0rgia?
Her life is in turmoil and as much as I want to stay, we really need to make changes for her emotional well being and as most of you know, that has been our main focus from day one.
My little girl needs her Daddy full time, who would have thought her attachment to him would be so deep after only 11 1/2 months of knowing him and being so terrified of who he was was for the first 3 months of togetherness? My perfect precious EG is keeping me grounded to what is right. It would be so easy to roll over and stay separated for selfish paradise reasons, but she is forcing us to reunite as a family. She might only be 2, but she's pretty darn smart if I do say so myself.


Rick and Ellen said...

Eme is one smart cookie!! You are fabulous and an awesome mother!! She is learning from your example. How wonderful she has such an attachment to her Daddy after struggling so in the beginning. I am sure you will always stay close to your Fab friend and her family! I am sending good thoughts and wishes your way!

Zbird said...

We went through this same thing about a year after Maggie came home. When we moved to Florida, my husband went 6 months before we did. It was AWEFUL! We missed him terribly and Maggie was in such a state without him. You are an incredible Mom and your instincts have been great so far. I am praying that great friends will be sent your way in your new home.

dawn said...

Something this hard just can't come without a great reward. Your new life will be filled with happiness and having your family at peace will only be the start. Eme will be fine cos you are her Mother and are doing everything for her.

Shannon said...

Good thing our girls are so small we can keep pouching them. =/ If anyone can ride out this storm with victory flag flying, you can.

Football & Fried Rice said...

Baby girl knows what it means to have her family.together. And she likes it..

Mya thought we lived in a hotel and when her Daddy leaves for a few days for work (even today) she'll ask if we need to pack our stuff... poor kiddos!

You are strong, girl!

Meg said...

she is smart, for sure! and vent away....that is why most of us followed you here- you keep it real and honest and we love that you are you no matter what......sending hugs and prayers for a speedy reunion......and a new definition of paradise.

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

Wishing you peace ahead!! It will suck, but for the kids I agree it is what you have to do. Hayden is a mess if Daddy just travels overnight somewhere and we skype with I can only imagine what is going on there with all the drama, daddy gone, 4 kids, and one with a very fragile heart!! Imitrex and xanax would be my best friend. Enough is enough!!
Again I am so sorry to hear all of the drama, and I can't believe you had to repack your stuff AGAIN!!! I would be toting a GUN!!!

"this to shall pass" I hope:)

Jennifer said...

Hoping the move goes smoothly and you are all back together soon. I am sure it will be crazy, but so worth it to have you all together again!

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